OMGOSH I’m soo excited!!! Day 56
Sep 2, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xof3N5Rhfvw

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I'm doing that again anyways so update
on the chair it just so happened to be a
spring like that quick they just came
over they flipped the chair and he's
like oh it's just a spring undone I'm
like really so I told the guy I said can
you just show my husband like how to fix
this so the next time my chair does this
then all he can just flip the chair and
fix it we were gonna have to pay $40 for
them to come out and fix it but thank
God the guys like oh we're not gonna
charge you and I'm like oh okay I like
that that sounds like a better deal
so anyways now I'm just sitting here
waiting for my video to upload so that I
can post it and put it live
I don't again know what is going on with
my stupid Wi-Fi it is pissing me off to
say the least
because I got a thing like in not an
email but like this thing popped up on
the laptop that was seen that you've
exceeded your amount of Wi-Fi usage so
we're gonna give you I think it's like
50 megabytes every 10 dollars but we
won't exceed over $200 I'm like heck you
will because the last thing I knew I was
paying almost $200 a month for unlimited
data so there's no reason that I am
being counted on my Wi-Fi so yeah Amy's
gonna be calling the cable company today
because I am NOT very happy but I think
that that's why it's taking so long to
upload my videos is literally because
it's running on something different like
it lowers itself or something I don't
know I'm just I'm getting so frustrated
because normally when I load my videos
it takes like five minutes at the most
no no no no no no now it's taking like
almost a half
to an hour just to load the video and
you can't touch the phone when you do it
because if you do and you go back to it
it will say error on uploading and then
you have to start the whole process over
oh yeah so I'm not very happy but
anyways so the chair people came and I
didn't like but um anyway so that got
done and then oli is gonna take Maya to
Walmart to go and get his game but he
decided to take all of us no I'm not
going into the store I'm just gonna sit
in the car I'm not feeling good
I took my blood pressure today it was
156 over 87 which I can fill it because
I have a massive pounding headache and
usually nine out of ten when I have a
headache like this it's cause my blood
pressure is up and I don't know why I
the only anything it was because of
being on my period and as much as I'm
losing right now I'm really dizzy again
so I think when I go into my doctor's I
have a doctor spent like September 22nd
I think I'm gonna go ahead and talk to
him and just find out I don't know if I
need to make an appointment with my gyno
I don't know I'm not sure if it's
something that he can fit help with I
don't know but something's got to give
because Amy is just everytime the last
two months when I've been on it it just
knocks me down I'm like deep down not
like depression or anything just
physically like it takes everything out
of my body so I don't know but anyways
I'm just going to let this upload and
then I'm gonna go with Olli I don't know
exactly where I want to get a tea today
I would like to but we'll see if I get
that and yeah other than that I think
that is it for now and I'll update you
on my weight loss here in just a little
bit
hello sweetie
so I weighed in this morning at 450
pounds that means I have lost 6 pounds
this week that is also with being on my
period this month or this month this
week
so I was pretty I was actually very
shocked because I thought for sure that
I just felt like my face was swollen and
I was just feeling kind of to this this
whole week upper - excuse me up until
last night I was still feeling just
really bloated and so when I stepped on
the scale and it was like 450 pounds I
was like oh my god
Wow so yes I am I have officially lost
40 pounds in 50 what day are we on 56
days so right I think we're on 56 or 54
no I think we're on 56 days so I'm
pretty sure is 56 days and I've lost 40
pounds I am so excited I'm just like ah
like that was just like oh my god that
was that was an amazing amazing feeling
all he high-fived me was a good job and
this week I didn't get much movement in
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just because I I just didn't and you
know I I need to start getting my
movement and because I know that I would
probably lose a lot more have i
circuiting my water and taken and get my
moving and I think that you know I could
successfully lose more but you know what
6 pounds of 6 pounds and that's you know
I came off of a two weeks of losing only
a pound each week so it was a great
feeling to see six pounds down
especially when I thought I was gonna
gain so I was just like AB and remember
I said I've been having that rice
dessert every single night
and so yeah anyways I'm really excited
about that and then I am gonna take some
medicine for my head because my blood
pressure is still up so I still have a
really bad headache and s heart needs to
lay down take a nap so I'm gonna lay her
down and I'm gonna actually lay down for
a little bit and see if I can get my
headache to go away and then I will
check in in a little bit we just walked
through the door we were at well we did
not get the sim card because all he went
in to t-mobile and literally he was in
there for probably I don't even know
I'll say 2025 minutes and he was still
gonna be in line and so he's like okay
what am I supposed to do I'm just like
never mind just forget it we'll do it
another time
so flick through your waiting so we went
from there went to Walmart and got Maya
his PlayStation game for doing the yards
so he got that and then he got stuff for
a dinner tomorrow night tomorrow night
tonight for dinner oh my my face because
I'm not covered clearly but tonight
we're having shawarma and it's pieces of
meat so he's dicing them like that and
then there's like the topping that we
put on it and then the tahini sauce and
you'll eat it with like a flatbread so
good and yes I was sitting home for a
minute assume my legs are like Sony and
I'm making the kids okay does anybody
know how to clean these things isn't
that filthy we've scrubbed him and they
will not tongue they were like that when
we moved in and we have done everything
we can
so this is what the kids are having for
dinner to my head you want ketchup on my
face yours
Ezra here's your's let me see your bike
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we see what are you gonna say no cuz
they see me well they own up okay say it
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good job why did you say it good job my
babies are so smart you like your food
my ketchup eater yes sir ah you like
your food yeah y'all okays we're hungry
huh let's put your chair in a little bit
no good job
yeah me they were wanting hamburger and
fries so daddy put hamburgers on the
grill for them and I made the fries
cheaper cheaper dude this way than the
other way around
which is you know so we don't do that
much anymore it's a rare treat and then
this is aa
dinner remember the meat I showed you
guys so this is the meat he fried it up
just so I'm not fired it up sorry just
stuck it in just to heat it up a little
bit more and then there's the tomatoes
and then it's the tahini sauce did you
put a pickle in here already and then
you eat it with like a pickle you can
put it in or not all right well I'll put
a pickle in but yeah my good ol dinner
thank you dear my big old chef over
there cooking such an amazing dinner
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I'm back
yes readjusting my light there okay so I
just got done eating and so good but
it's so weird because and excuse my mess
oh yeah
excuse my mess back there it's pretty
pretty hectic back there um anyways it's
funny because like my body's gone from
being able to like eat two of what I
showed you
oh okay now I feel like I'm better with
you guys um I used to be able to eat two
of those so much things that I showed
you
sorry but it's so weird oh oh oh my face
mask Oh smashed um anyways but now peso
Olly only maybe one yeah I couldn't even
eat that I literally like ate half of it
and then I just opened up the bread and
ate the meat out of it and that was it
and I am like stuffed it's such a weird
feeling to have that I physically cannot
eat like I used to now
could I force myself to eat more yeah I
could and I would probably the table
feeling pretty bad but I could but it's
like I've got in my brain so much now
that it's like I don't want to hurt I
don't want to stretch my stomach back
out because I mean I've worked so hard
on getting my tummy pouch or whatever no
not that I've had a surgery but that
took my tummy whatever just like my
stomach I guess I'll call it not the
pouch missed my stomach which was like
this big is now so tiny that a sandwich
fills me up you know and person there
telling oli tonight at dinner I said you
know what's really weird is that before
because today when we were out I reused
my cup I put it flavored wada anyways
when we were out today I told him that I
was getting hungry and it was roughly
about 2:30 I want to say and I really
didn't get much dinner or sorry dinner
breakfast because s were ended up eating
my breakfast so I got like a couple
bites but I didn't really eat a whole
lot which was just one of those
breakfast sandwiches and so when we were
out I told him I said oh I'm kind of
getting a little hungry but I knew we
were gonna be going home I mean we were
clearly on our way home and so I told
him I said or he goes well we're going
home so I can make you a turkey sandwich
when we get home I was like oh okay
that's up sounds good to me but before
if I would have said I'm hungry then I
would have expected him to stop
somewhere even if we were on our way
home pull off on the next exit and get
me something to eat whether it be
usually it was Taco Bell
usually it right yeah it was usually
talked about or sometimes he would
suggest us like a Subway sandwich or a
sub salad but I would I would get mad
sometimes when he would say a salad or a
sandwich because I don't know why just
because I didn't get full off of even a
footlong I never got full off of and a
lot of times he would be like well we
can get a footlong and shirt and I'm
like me me me nail Amy's gonna have the
whole whole shebang um but usually I
always wanted more food I got full and
feel I got full and it landed in my
stomach heavy so today when he said that
I was like oh yeah no that's fine it
sounds good to me and I came home and
you know I got stuff adjusted in here
cuz I was doing some laptop work and
you know what else I was John's doing
something else oh no I wasn't holding
laundry I don't know what I was doing
something I was up to something and he
comes in with a sandwich so I ate it and
I just sat there after I hate it and I
was like wow I didn't even get mad that
he said that he would make me lunch at
homestead of stopping but before if I
would have said I'm hungry I would
expect him to stop and if he would and I
wouldn't say it out loud though but I
would be reading it in my own mind and
if he said okay well we're on our way
home and I can just fix you something to
eat Oh Nelly oh whoa yeah yeah yeah nee
nee nee nee nee we don't say that day me
we know they will go home and make a
lunch for a me none enough I would get
so mad oh I don't get so mad and I told
him tonight said you know I don't know I
I think it was a mix of things I think
it was wanting the fast food out of
clearly and then also not just wanting
the fast food out but I was impatient so
coming home I wanted to sit down and eat
right then and there I didn't want to
wait for him to make something to eat so
out of convenience I guess you would say
I always wanted fast food and it's so
weird how I just I don't even I don't at
all crave it like at all I mean there at
the very beginning I was craving Panda
really bad really really really really
bad but I didn't I didn't eat it I did
not fall into it I looked it up the
other day I'm trying think what day it
was whatever day I had the burrito shoot
what day was hot I want to say it was
this week wasn't it I think it was this
week
I think I'll have to go back and I'll
double-check that but I think it was
this week and um yeah I was this week it
was this week the week that I lost six
fat ones but I looked up the calorie
counts and I could have had a full mil
for 700 I was except 680 or 780 give or
take there was a few different ways that
I can order the food and that was still
not having both sides because if I get
the three entree you get chow mein or
whatever kind of rice and then you can
do like mixed vegetables so I would have
gotten mixed vegetables and then I
calculated the rest of it and I was like
I want to say it was like 780 which I
have like 1100 calories that day left
that I needed to eat well not that I
needed to but that I had to use if I
wanted to and so I was trying to justify
it but then Ali but I really wanted
beans it was it was because um it was
right before like the day before I
started my period so yeah and I wanted
being so bad so he went ahead and he
ordered a steak burrito from a Mexican
restaurant up the street and that was
once it was like 600 calories I think
which is a pretty big mill it really is
but at the same time I think it was the
healthier way to go even though it was
still eating out I mean eating a burrito
versus eating a Panda Express with all
the sodium and everything I think that I
made the better choice but honestly in
reality excuse me um in reality I think
that my body has honestly because I even
ate that burrito and it just didn't
it didn't really taste good I mean it
was okay but it wasn't like oh just ya
know it really didn't and I truly have
been enjoying eating at home like just
all the meals at home so it was it was
definitely a learning thing for me that
I noticed today just like wow you know
I'm really noticing that my attitude is
even changing around food and anyways
but that it's a really good feeling to
know that my attitude is truly changing
towards food and that it's not such a
thing that I have to have it but you
know it's nice from time to time to
treat yourself but you don't have to
treat yourself to always having that
blasted bat bad food I'm gonna call it
bad food because honestly fast food is
not healthy I don't care what anybody
says the sodium that comes in most of
outside food is not healthy no I'm not
saying my or you know something like
that I'm that's not what I'm talking
about but I'm talking like Burger King
McDonald's Taco Bell Panda Express
Hawaiian time I mean all of those the
sodium is what really catches you and
then you've just got that deep fry and
you know and it's weird because even
like now when I Drive down the street
and I smell from like the fast-food and
I smell this thing it literally makes me
want to get sick like it's like because
of the smell I'm just I'm so far past
that then now it's just like when I
smell it's like oh my god could it be
away from here like almost like when I
was pregnant that's like how it was but
not bright man so yeah that was a pretty
interesting thing that I noticed today
and I think just noticing like
different things with my body like today
I sat on the couch and I kind of curled
my feet up underneath me and I couldn't
tell you the last time I've sat on the
actual couch it's been a long time
coming and I sat there for probably
about an hour and a half something like
that my legs didn't go to sleep nothing
went to sleep if they were already to be
used when I got up and it was such an
amazing feeling I was just like oh my
gosh like I can sit there and then I
took a picture and I sent it to my
friend I wasn't covered otherwise I
would post a picture I'll try and do one
where I'm cover it so you guys can see
but I accomplished which it's kind of a
funny thing but it's a big thing to me I
accomplished being able to sit on my bed
with my legs criss-crossed I don't know
how many people take things for granted
when they can do it but to be able to
sit on your bed and fold your legs it
has been something I have wanted to do
for so long but because my legs are big
it's hard I can't do it and if I do do
it my legs fall asleep within like
seconds so I have to stop but the other
day I sat on the bed I was like oh my
gosh because I do that I take pictures
of myself when I accomplish another step
towards what I'm working for
and so I've had Jeremiah take pictures
of me cleaning the kitchen and you know
Ollie took a picture of me sitting on
the couch and just little things that I
noticed that are different that I
couldn't do just a short time ago now I
have my family pop question Erik
questions pop pictures so that I can go
back and be like oh my god I remember
the day that I could sit on my bed and
cross my legs what an amazing
accomplishment that foul and oh yeah I
remember this day when I could stand in
the kitchen I finally was able to do the
dishes without crying because my back
was hurting and just the little
achievements oh my gosh they make they
make me feel so
good and it definitely makes me feel
like I know that I'm doing the right
thing
and that's just such a great filling so
yeah today was a lot I'm sorry I'm
popping my knuckles I was really nasty
today what's a lot of like noticing
different little accomplishments but
losing 40 pounds I don't realize but I
guess 40 pounds is a lot of weight to me
because I see myself still so big I know
I have so much to lose thing that I have
to remind myself that 40 pounds is a lot
of weight 40 more pounds which is not
hard to get off will almost be well that
would be 80 pounds almost a hundred
pounds that's a lot of weight I started
out for 94 90 and I'm down to 450 I just
can't I'm just like oh my gosh like I
didn't think that this could be possible
and I I wake up and tell myself every
morning this is the day we're gonna do
more we're gonna push more we're gonna
try things and every day I find
something more new that I can do that I
couldn't do just a few few short months
ago and so it's just been an amazing
feeling and yeah I thank you guys thank
you thank you thank you for being with
me so far on these 40 pounds that I've
lost it's such a great feeling to know
that I have such a great support system
behind me that are cheering me on and
pushing me forward and reminding me that
this is this is what I'm supposed to be
doing and this is where I'm supposed to
be going and you know it's because of
you guys that I feel that I have really
stuck firm this time because I know that
you guys are going through a lot of the
same things
I'm going through so I'm not alone and I
feel so good knowing that it's a good
feeling to know you're not alone so
knowing that makes me want to continue
to push forward even harder so that I
continue to drop the pounds and see even
more success and I just again want to
thank you guys that I have gotten 40
pounds off and it just seems like I
started yesterday but I have gained so
much encouragement and the support and
friendships the friendships are amazing
amazing and every one of you guys are
the reason I have lost 40 pounds so far
and you know I just can't can't wait
until I see another 40 pounds off you
know I I started out by saying 150 was
my first goal I knew going into it I
could do it I could do it and then as I
started I thought you know that's a
really high set goal that I might not be
able to reach within 90 days so let's
back that down a little bit and let's be
more realistic and so I said okay 40
pounds 40 is my first goal and look at
where I'm at today I reached my first
goal so yes I very excited very excited
so anyways well I am gonna jump off
because my kids are clearly needing me
right at the moment I don't know why but
they do and I'm gonna go take a shower
and I'm going to check some emails and
then I'm gonna hit the bed because I
just AM anti odd but I will check in
with you guys tomorrow morning I hope
you guys had an amazing Saturday and I
know great into your weekend tomorrow
and I will definitely see you guys in
the morning
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